There is something profoundly human about caring for an aging parent, an ailing spouse or someone losing their independence. But this commitment comes with many challenges.

Dr. Doris Clerc, Geriatric Psychiatrist,
Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal

As part of the Chère Janette campaign, caregivers across Quebec shared everything they’ve experienced, from precious moments to fatigue, mental load and, sometimes, self-neglect. In conversation with Dr. Doris Clerc, a psychiatrist specializing in senior care at the Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal, Janette Bertrand explores the highs and lows of caregiving along with ways to better support those who quietly play a crucial role in the lives of their loved ones.

Providing both practical and emotional support

Caregivers often take on a wide range of responsibilities, including scheduling medical appointments, preparing meals, helping with personal care, managing medications, and providing moral support. While their responsibilities may change as the care recipient’s needs change, their goal is always the same: to make life as good as possible for their loved ones.

Their commitment, often unseen, requires time, energy, great adaptability, and significant emotional investment. For many caregivers, the act of caregiving can be rewarding, especially when it is recognized and reflects deeply held values. Over the long term, however, it can become a gruelling grind.

Balancing your needs and those of others

Caregivers may find it harder to maintain a balance as responsibilities pile up. Gradually, they may grow frustrated, feel like they’re “trapped,” and risk experiencing physical burnout.

In her practice, Dr. Clerc has noticed that many caregivers put the needs of their loved ones before their own. “There’s a saying in our profession that caregivers are invisible patients—because no one thinks of asking them how they’re doing,” she explains.

Yet taking care of oneself is not a luxury. It’s an absolute prerequisite to caring for others over the long term. But caregivers need to feel justified in expressing their needs and in asking for help.

Avoiding caregiver burnout

According to Dr. Clerc, the first step is to recognize that the caregiver’s well-being is important too. She provides some practical advice:

• Recognize your own value
• Recognize your needs and emotions
• Dare to ask for help and use available services

There are various organizations across Quebec that caregivers can reach out to when they need access to respite care or help with supervision, bathing, cleaning, and more. “To find out what resources are available in your community, contact your CLSC. That’s the best place to start,” she says.

Supporting someone with dementia

Caregiving can become particularly complex in certain situations, such as when the care recipient has dementia or Alzheimer’s. In addition to the day-to-day care they provide, caregivers often find behavioural changes and memory loss emotionally difficult to cope with.

Dr. Clerc believes families should receive better support as soon as a diagnosis is made. She also offers encouraging words to those who find it hard not be recognized by their loved ones, reminding them that emotional memory is the last thing to go. Even when words and memories fade, the emotional needs and connections endure.

Keeping seniors at home

Such situations also raise a key question for many families: How long can loved ones be kept at home while ensuring their safety and a balanced life for everyone involved?

Many seniors say their greatest wish is to stay in their own homes. Yet, even with help, that’s not always possible.

Exploring nursing home options can lead to difficult conversations and leave some caregivers feeling guilty because they think they have betrayed their commitment to their loved ones. Dr. Clerc points out, however, that someone who is experiencing a loss of independence may need care that their family and friends are unable to provide.

While these are difficult decisions to make, emerging innovations are opening the door to new ways of supporting older adults and their loved ones. Smart apartments and connected technologies that enable remote monitoring are among the promising solutions being explored. What’s more, the Research Centre of the Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal currently has various projects underway. In time, such advances could dramatically improve quality of life for many families.

Essential partners in the health-care system

As Quebec’s population continues to age, caregivers will play an increasingly vital role in the years ahead. By 2031, one in four Quebecers will be aged 65 or older¹. This underscores the importance of recognizing caregivers’ contributions by expanding available resources and developing solutions that better meet the needs of older adults.